Life is messy

“I’ve been thinking. We must accept our reality in all its immensity. Everything, even the unheard of, must be possible within it. This is, in the end, the only courage required of us: the courage to meet what is strangest and most awesome.” Rilke

This is an immense time for me. And I imagine for you too.

In my family, we have recently welcomed Hospice in to care for my father. They told me that if things change monthly - it’ll be a month of life left, if weekly - it’ll be weeks, if daily - it’ll be days. He seems to be somewhere in the weekly range - so I keep my heart prepared.
Anticipatory Grief this is called.
In the past 30 days I have also welcomed a grandson - our first - into the world. 11 weeks too early - but a fighter and a lover and doing amazingly well in the NICU. I can't help but wonder if he rushed himself into this world so his great-grandfather would know his name?

And another joy. My second son got married this week.

Heartaches large and small, fragility and strength, despair and hope. An immensely messy time.
Chokyi Nyima Rinpoche says this:

Try to master the ability to feel sad without actually being sad.
Do not become sad yourself.

Seems impossible. And I keep thinking, how do we find the courage to meet what breaks our heart?

All There Is

If you see me walking my daily hour around the neighborhood with air pods in my ears and tears streaming down my face, it's because part of my self-care is listening to Anderson Cooper’s new podcast All There Is - over and over and over. Here, he is attempting to honor his mother’s death, understand the impact of his loss, and basically use ART to help keep his shit together as he works, parents, and loves his human life in a strange and sad and lonely world without his Mom.
This is how I learned that what I am going through is called Anticipatory Grief. The one we love is dying, and he is also still alive. And I walk around trying to keep my shit together as I work and parent and love this human life in a strange and sad and lonely world.

Random Acts of Kindness

Humans always seem to be breaking my heart. I woke up one morning recently to this incredible gift from Sam in my inbox. Just because.

There's a line in a Leonard Cohen song;

"There’s a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.”

Sam's sweet version of this song poured right into my broken heart and made me remember yet again that to meet what is strangest and most awesome, to SHINE, is really all we can do.

Please send your humans to yoga.

I'm not teaching lately because I find myself empty. But I want to offer what I have in abundance - the studio: Yoga in a beautiful space with incredible teachers who give from full cups and who love what they do. Yoga has saved me more times than I can count, even when I spent the entire class in a child’s pose.

We are offering no questions asked free yoga this season to anyone in need. Might be you. Might be a client, a patient, a student, a family member or a friend. 

The holidays can be a painful time for those who are grieving a loss. Some humans are mourning the death of a loved one, other humans are supporting someone who is grieving.

Please send your humans to yoga. No explanations needed. Use and share code Yellow for free access to any yoga class on our schedule this season - including Trauma Sensitive Yoga.

QUOTE TO PRACTICE WITH

“I said: what about my eyes?

He said: Keep them on the road.

I said: What about my passion?

He said: Keep it burning.

I said: What about my heart?

He said: Tell me what you hold inside it?

I said: Pain and sorrow.

He said: Stay with it.

The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

As always - Sending you so much peace and love.
✌️+ 💛 Linda